and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i dont even know how to be here
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
