i was rollin on her like bob the builder
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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