mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
