i permit you to call me
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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