I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
