i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Sober January is a disaster.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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