drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
