A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
