I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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