tell your sister to shave her snatch
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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