I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize