Where is the hickey?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
