Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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