remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
