Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
