WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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