Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Dicks are not precious.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
