I wanna bring you to show and tell
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
