I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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