For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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