Ambien. No doubt about it.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
