the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
