This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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