Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
