The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
