Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
