Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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