I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
