But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
