Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
