No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
