He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Dick very happy bro
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
