She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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