Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
