omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
