Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
