you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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