And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It's blow job season.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
