i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
