doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i now understand why vodka
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
