love makes seman taste better
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
