I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
