Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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