Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
