STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so that wasnt chicken after all
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
