Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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