Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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