a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
