Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
