And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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