i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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