there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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