Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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