I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
