We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
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